Dear World,
This has been one of the most challenging weeks I've ever walked through at Sambica. Partially because it was a whole new program to adjust to. Partially because there were people I used to really like that have started to really make me mad. And partially because I got to know a lot of the kids really well, and then I had to say goodbye to them all on Friday. I'm going to touch on each of these in this post today.
First off, the program. PIT is basically what I expected. A lot more work. It has been absolutely exhausting. We almost never stop working. Our Head of Activities encourages us to find at most, one break of 45ish minutes a day, but this isn't always possible. On a full day, we're on schedule from 9:30 am to 5:35 pm, playing and being crazy with kids (ranging in ages 5-11) nonstop. This isn't counting getting up at 6 every morning to be out on the field to set up all the inflatables, as well as one of our activities courses. The work is freaking ridiculous, and I don't know why I pay to do it, but the one thing I was really grateful for was being in a program with kids my own age. It may not seem like it, but there is a big difference between a 13/14 year old's maturity level, and a 15/16 year old's maturity level. The hardest part for me has always been being put in programs where I'm the oldest (because I've always been a grade behind). I just never fit because I don't seem to connect with the others as much because they're younger. So mostly my bible study time has been my favorite because I feel like I'm finally on a level with other teens who are in the same place as me, maturity and faith wise. It's just been so great.
As far as the people go.... there's actually two parts to this, because there have also been a lot of people that I didn't know so well, and have really clicked with. But along with that has come others who I've known before that I want to punch in the face every time I see. There's one of my mentors who I vent to about everybody else at camp, and she is really good about encouraging me to just put on a happy face and push through it. This has been good because when I do this, it helps me to ignore every slap in the face thing they do, and focus on the few good things they do... like talking to me... should they even do that. It's just been a really rough week in this department. People can be really mean. But I'm learning to ignore it.
Now to my favorite part. I can't tell you what it's done for me to be able to work with all these amazing kids! Teenagers and leadership can just get so frustrating and completely heartbreaking to be with. These kids haven't gone through the blender of the world. Most are still innocent. And my favorite part. They don't lie to you about if they like you or not. They are very straightforward. And usually, after the 45-65 minutes I spend with each cabin, they're looking forward to the next activity I have with them. When I see a lot of them around camp, I hear my camp name "Art" being screamed from a few different directions.
It's just been so great and refreshing not being around people who lie to you or are evasive about if they like you as a person or not. Like those silly mind games people play on you. "Maybe if I pretend not to like that person, they will end up wanting me to like them more, and in turn, like me more." You know what I'm talking about. The silly beating around the bush thing that helps them feel good about themselves in the long run. Or when they say that they love you and then do nothing to show that love to you. No affection or time investment or communication of any sort. I love that these kids don't know how to do that. They are completely straightforward. If they like you, they like you, and there is no way you wouldn't be able to know. I had 3 cabins give me huge group hugs at the end up their activities on Friday, and one girl, whom I'd grown particularly fond of, start crying when I saw her for the last time. Each Friday is going to be sad, but all the time I get to spend with the kids leading up to that is going to be the greatest ever.
So yes. A very challenging week, to say the least. But quite worth the money at the end of it.
In Him,
Maddie Rose
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