Dear World,
It's finally happening, prayers are being answered, and I'm starting to really really get excited. This is going to sound really bad and like a stupid thing to be excited about, but I'm starting to really enjoy camp again! And if you think about it, this is really only like my 7th day because I was gone all last week, so I missed out on a lot. I really feel like I just got here, because I was gone, so it feels like a fast change, when really, this is my 3rd week at camp.
The main thing to change and make it better has been the mentors. Aka, getting to know them better. First week I definitely wasn't closed off to them, but they did seriously scare me. Like, what are they going to be like, I wonder if they're anything like the mentors from last year (because obviously your going to have a subconscious standard that you really want them to meet and exceed, even if you know that that isn't the greatest thing in the world), I wonder if they'll like me, maybe they're not going to like me right away. And that one was definitely the worst.
I totally expected them not to like me. "She's just that girl with all the problems who can't handle herself and needs constant help." People have sort of labeled me as that this year and I was really scared that these new people would think that as well. Especially at Sambica, because that place seems to have some kind of protective bubble, where you can talk to anybody about anything your dealing with and it wouldn't leave the campus. So you tend to talk about yourself and your problems a lot.
And also, (off topic) the funniest thing, there was this one mentor that I was totally convinced did not like me at all. Her name is Scuba. I don't know what I miss-interpreted to make myself think that, but anyway. I was talking to her, this other mentor Pez, and this other one, Sage, was kind of just sitting on the tube in the playground, not really listening. I think I said something about how I'd been really nervous about them the first week, and all of a sudden, Scuba stops me and says, "Now I heard . . . that you had thought that I hated you . . ." And she said it in the funniest tone. It wasn't really like a joking thing, but almost as if she was accusing me like, how could I have possibly thought that. It was just really funny. And then I point over at Sage, who was sitting on the tube, not paying attention, and was like "YOU TOLD HER!?!?!?" It was just really funny. But anyway, I'm starting to connect with them a little bit, and I'm learning a lot about them.
I don't want to say that they've met the expectations I subconsciously held, because I don't think they have. Rather, the standards are kind of melting away, so there isn't anything for them to live up to. Like the mentors from last year, they're staking their claims on their portion and involvement in my summer and are refusing to give them up. They're making their own mark that no individual to come could surpass or fall short of, because their moments are individual to them as my mentors.
So yeah. :) Looking forward to more good days with growingly awesome people.
In Him,
Maddie Rose
It's finally happening, prayers are being answered, and I'm starting to really really get excited. This is going to sound really bad and like a stupid thing to be excited about, but I'm starting to really enjoy camp again! And if you think about it, this is really only like my 7th day because I was gone all last week, so I missed out on a lot. I really feel like I just got here, because I was gone, so it feels like a fast change, when really, this is my 3rd week at camp.
The main thing to change and make it better has been the mentors. Aka, getting to know them better. First week I definitely wasn't closed off to them, but they did seriously scare me. Like, what are they going to be like, I wonder if they're anything like the mentors from last year (because obviously your going to have a subconscious standard that you really want them to meet and exceed, even if you know that that isn't the greatest thing in the world), I wonder if they'll like me, maybe they're not going to like me right away. And that one was definitely the worst.
I totally expected them not to like me. "She's just that girl with all the problems who can't handle herself and needs constant help." People have sort of labeled me as that this year and I was really scared that these new people would think that as well. Especially at Sambica, because that place seems to have some kind of protective bubble, where you can talk to anybody about anything your dealing with and it wouldn't leave the campus. So you tend to talk about yourself and your problems a lot.
And also, (off topic) the funniest thing, there was this one mentor that I was totally convinced did not like me at all. Her name is Scuba. I don't know what I miss-interpreted to make myself think that, but anyway. I was talking to her, this other mentor Pez, and this other one, Sage, was kind of just sitting on the tube in the playground, not really listening. I think I said something about how I'd been really nervous about them the first week, and all of a sudden, Scuba stops me and says, "Now I heard . . . that you had thought that I hated you . . ." And she said it in the funniest tone. It wasn't really like a joking thing, but almost as if she was accusing me like, how could I have possibly thought that. It was just really funny. And then I point over at Sage, who was sitting on the tube, not paying attention, and was like "YOU TOLD HER!?!?!?" It was just really funny. But anyway, I'm starting to connect with them a little bit, and I'm learning a lot about them.
I don't want to say that they've met the expectations I subconsciously held, because I don't think they have. Rather, the standards are kind of melting away, so there isn't anything for them to live up to. Like the mentors from last year, they're staking their claims on their portion and involvement in my summer and are refusing to give them up. They're making their own mark that no individual to come could surpass or fall short of, because their moments are individual to them as my mentors.
So yeah. :) Looking forward to more good days with growingly awesome people.
In Him,
Maddie Rose
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