Mentors

Dear World,

Today was a pretty all around day, and i couldn't find something to write about. I'll give you an update on my back though. I'm really feeling a lot better. I'm still in a lot of pain when I stand straight up, but I'm fine on walking and stuff. I can't seem to be standing or sitting for too long because that puts stress on it. If it doesn't start getting better in at least 3-4 days, then I may have to go to the hospital.

So I decided what I was gonna write about. Since I couldn't find something to write on today, I think I'll just write about the mentors. I'll probably do another post just like this, talking about them, at the end of session. Because today is the marking point for exactly half way through this session. But that's what I'm gonna do today.

Dodge City-
So, Dodge is a pretty cool guy. So cool that he gave me my camp name. =P He's good at his job. He tries to get it right... but that's kinda just the what you could pick out at anytime sorta thing. He is the nicest, funniest, most caring, most sarcastic male mentor ever! The first time I had him for accommodations (bathrooms) I had been very disrespectful and rude. I felt ashamed about that because I would NEVER do that! At least to someone in authority over me. I don't know why that happened, but it did. He was quick to forgive, and hasn't brought it up since. Which i think is amazing, because so many people just hold things over you forever, and are bitter. This is just my opinion, and I'm not a doctor, but I think that's unhealthy. Anyway, Dodge is amazing.

Late 4 Dinner (l4d)-
So, the day I met l4d, I LOVED HER! haha... just kidding. But i did think she was really nice. It was the next day that i loved her. :) She is like, the nicest, most loving and caring mentor in the world. Yesterday, when I had hurt my back and was lying on the beach for like an hour, she was next to me the whole time. I don't know why, everyone was just kinda coming and going, but she never left. And that made me feel so good. She had happened to be the mentor that was trying to help me by telling me that I was wearing an NCA shirt. I'm not upset about that anymore... infact, I think the whole thing was pretty silly, but I am so happy to have met her. Nice and caring l4d. =P

Wildcat (Kitty)-
Kitty is one of those chill and cool people. But when he spoke today... it was like, one of those silent but violent things. His message hit home for me. He's really quiet, and chill, and can't yell (like seriously), but listening to him talk today was so good. He was saying how you shouldn't try to fix a problem that you have, on your own, because your sure to fail. The only way is to lean on God. He's not one of those loud and crazy speakers. Like... "You should come to JESUS, because if you don't come to JESUS, you are SUUUUURE to live a life in HELL for your TERRIBLE sin and the way you live you TERRIBLE life." No. He just tells it as it is. And I love that about him. He's very sweet, and has that light, but HILARIOUS sense of humor. Kitty is Kitty. What more can I say...

Tigerlily-
I have an odd relationship with Tigerlily. She's one of those naturally funny people. She's the person that everyone tries to be like. You can't help but love her. Everyone loves her... it's impossible not to. I don't feel the closest to her... like, outta the mentors that we have. But she knows the most about me. I don't really open up to her, but conversation just goes to where she learns more and more things just about and personally about myself. I've told her more in the past week and a half then I've told another counselor I met at the same camp in 2 years. It's not that I feel extremely close to her... idk. I love tigerlily. don't get me wrong, i do. I just don't know how she ended up knowing so much about me! I guess she's just one of those awesome people. Tigerlily is bomb man.

Pluto-
I don't know what to say about Pluto. She's my favorite mentor to be put with. She makes working fun. (except for when she hasn't eaten. =P ) She really doesn't know a whole lot about me, and I don't know a lot about her, but I feel like I can talk to her about anything. Like I could just go up to her and she'd be willing to talk right then. She's told me how she came to Christ, and her testimony. She's one of those indescribable people... I'll have to say something though, because I did about the others. Well... she's hilarious, infinantly nice, extremely loving, always caring, forever a hard worker... idk. I just love her. =)

So ya! I don't pick favorites. I think that's mean. Their all special to me differently, and I'll keep my favorites to myself. But I love them all, and am so happy to have them as our mentors!

In Him,
Maddie

Pinched Nerves and Good Attitudes

Dear World,

Yup, you read the title right. Pinched nerves. In my back to be exact. It's difficult to walk, because if the weight it puts on my back. So... here's the story-

I was jumping off the high dive, multiple times with my friend Kyle. He was helping me with back flips, and I was helping him with front flips. The mentors and others who weren't in the water yelled to us for us to do a dive. So I did one. It was ok, but slightly uncomfortable. I decided to do one more, just to get it perfect. This time, my legs flipped back and (according to Kyle) nearly touched the back of my head. It seemed like I was bent in half with my stomach stretched and my back pinched. As soon as my head hit the water I felt a terrible shooting pain in the middle of my back. I could barely swim when I re-surfaced and was nearly drowning.Thankfully, Kyle had been just below watching me go off, so he had me grab his shoulder and swam me to shore, then he helped me walk up to the 'beach' and lie down. One of the mentors, actually, the one i had given the oath of silence the day before, sat by me the entire time and helped me do various things like lift my head to swallow the meds, and sit up for the first time. And the camp medic was there in what seemed like a second was already trying to figure out what was wrong. I was also freakin cold. I think it took about 40 minutes for me to stop shivering completely. I had to lie on my towel, so the get extras to cover me, and the mentors put their jackets on me to. They were so nice! even though i felt like i was breaking in half, and my back was killing me, I was EXTREMELY thankful to all of them.

So ya, time for what I was really gonna write on. So yesterday, me and the dinning hall mentor were in bad moods. Me, because I had a terrible headache from first lunch, and her because she can't stand not eating for too long. (she gets cranky, and grumpy) So today, since we'd both noticed our bad moods yesterday, we made a sorta promise to each other not to let that happen again. But, about half way through the day, I did something really stupid, and it really wasn't that big of deal, but i got like a lot of (negative) attention for it. It was just something small, and they got over it fast, but it brought back a lot of bad memories of experiences where i was just that. The center of attention for doing something extremely stupid. That was always one of the most upsetting things to me. So today, immediately after that happened, I went into the bathroom and cried for about 5 minutes. I didn't want to tell the dining hall mentor how upset I was by it, because she was really trying to have a good, positive day. It didn't really ruin my day, but it kinda put me in an off mood for about an hour.

But, my point for bringing up the whole Good Attitudes thing was because we should always have a good attitude when we're serving the Lord and working for Him. We should actually have a good attitude all the time when we're working, but especially when we're serving and working for God. We speak about God and Jesus, we put our hands up in worship, we WORK for God.. but the thing is, do we do it with a servant's heart? Or do we put on a fake attitude that does not portray who we really are and we do the "Good Christian thing". Gosh, I hate that image. The "Good Christian". It's always hard for me not to act like the Good Christian and actually work for GOD! Work for God because that's what He wants us to do. Not because that's what man says we should do.

Goodness... well, that's all I'm gonna say today. I'm kinda outta it because of the MANY pain killers I've had already. Hopefully tomorrows post will be better.

Hope to get better,
Maddie

CA shirts

Dear World,

Today i showed up at camp wearing an NCA shirt (not camp appropriate). It didn't seem to be in my eyes, but one of the mentors said it was. At first i just wore my jacket over it, but that seemed to be too hot, so i borrowed a shirt from one of the girls i was working with. I was very frustrated with the whole CA shirt thing, so i gave the mentor who had told me to change, an oath of silence for the whole day. I can be so immature. It wasn't till i was driving away, and i saw her walking towards the rest of the ELITEs that were getting ready to leave, that i realized how stupid i was. I didn't even say goodbye man! I was raised to always say goodbye to friends, so that way, just in case something happens, i would have said goodbye to them, or given them a hug as, like, a final seeing sorta thing. So i felt bad about that.

I wonder how much it must brake the Lord's heart when we don't spend as much time with Him, or are as worried if we sinned against Him as we are with our earthly friends. I know I'm guilty of doing that, A LOT! I spend so much time worrying about if, my friends like me, if I hurt them by something I might've said, if i was rude, mean, sarcastic... etc. I think it must hurt God that we don't pour so much of ourselves into correcting the sin we commit against Him as we do in the sin we commit against people. Because the sin we commit against God will always outweigh the sin we commit against any human being.

But also, I think we pour so much of ourselves into correcting human relationships, because humans bite back. They get hurt and then they retaliate. God doesn't retaliate. He waits, patiently, for you to come and make it right. He doesn't fight. But He does punish wrong doing. That's where I think people get the two confused. 'God is getting me back for not spending exactly 30 minutes with Him, when I had to stop devotion at 25 minutes'. No, God's not getting you back. He's punishing you. Punishing you for stealing those drugs, for smoking that pot, for cheating on your wife. etc...

Anyways, I'm going to start pouring more of myself into my relationship with God, then with my relationships with man.
But, if you are reading this, I apologize for being so immature today. You may not have noticed, or maybe you did, but either way, I'm very sorry.

Until tomorrow,
Maddie

Trust the Ropes

Dear World,

Last Wednesday the SITs were asked if they would like to stay later to try out the ropes course. (naturally i said yes) Never had i thought that 30 feet was so high! Before I went on the ropes course, our ELITE supervisor, Tokyo, told me that in order to completely trust the ropes, you just have to let yourself fall. Fall, and have faith that they will hold you up.

That, I think, is similar to Christianity. We're too scared to completely give ourselves up to the Lord. Have complete trust in the fact that if we fall, He will be there to hold us up. He won't let us hit the ground. But, there is still that second or two when the rope hasn't straightened out yet and grabbed your weight where you doubt that it could support you. When we're in the middle of the fall, we may have slight doubts about if He'll be there to hold us up. But then the rope tightens, it grabs your weight. Your hanging their, heart thumbing from those few moments of flight. You start to calm down and realize that these ropes do have you. They won't let you fall. You Trust them. God won't let us fall. He'll always be there to hold us up.

This was just something I was contemplating and decided to write in here.

In Him,
Maddie

Sambica thus far...

Dear World,

I am an ELITE. I am an SIT. I am a GIRL. I am doing this to serve the LORD. I am working for HIM.

This week I started at a camp called SAMBICA as an ELITE, SIT. I have 2 more weeks to go and want to inform people about what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, how it effects me, and what the outcome at the end of the session will be. (I'll be sure to update this more than once a week)

I am very blessed. I have 2 parents and 2 sisters. I have uncles and aunts and cousins that love me. I don't have a lot of earthly possessions, but family is the most important thing. If it wasn't because of my family I wouldn't be at this camp right now.

The reason I wanted to come to SAMBICA is because I came as a camper 2 years ago and had one of the most life changing experiences i had ever had. So, I signed up this year to be an SIT (staff in training) , hoping that I would be able to have a somewhat similar experience. I am a naturally hard worker and i knew that when I came to SAMBICA i would be doing real, working jobs while I was here. I didn't care. So far, I am sooo thankful that I came. I had some tragic news broken to me and my sisters the week before i came, and I was very numb about it for the first few days. When I got to washington to go to the camp I spent the first 2 days with my cousins Ellie and Sadie (6 and 2). They made me forget about all that was going on. I was so incredibly thankful for the time I spent with them.

Sunday was sign in for sambica. I was greeted by the ELITE mentors. The place was bubbling with joy and anticipation for the weeks to come that it put me in a dark place. Yes, I was very excited to be there. But the tragic news that i had been given was never far from my mind. Naturally i thought that that was how the whole session was gonna go, so I stopped looking forward to it. But the next day, Day 1, changed that in an instant. I was still very down by the great excitement, but my spirits had been lifted just by being able to be there. I had missed the camp and was so excited to be back.

Things have been tough this week. Week 1. I've been able to talk to a few of the mentors about what's been going on in my life, and they have been very helpful in showing me that there is nothing that will help me more than leaning on GOD and His WORD. I've started reading my way through Psalms and Proverbs (suggested by one of the mentors) and it has been very helpful, even though it's only been a couple of days.

Things have also been good this week. Thursday we had the carnival, and I don't think I've ever had more fun before in my life. Kids were excited and running from here to there with there tickets. ELITEs were excited and dancing around like they were drunk (though we weren't, lol) and I was having a blast running one of the games with my friend Claudia. She was so high energy that it pumped my spirits as well.

So, to sum it up, this first week was a success. I'll put up some more in-depth posts now as the weeks go on.

In Him,

Maddie