Dear World,
So, life is hard. Shit happens. We do stuff we're not proud of and we wish that things didn't happen to us. So... how do we deal with it? I'm still trying to answer this question for myself. Does God provide? He has definitely shown himself to me in brief past moments, but is that a real relationship? Brief moments from a loving and caring father, followed by extended silence and waiting. That's almost torture. But is it worth it? It would take work to be able to hear more from God. Long, hard, patient, work. Lots of reading, and praying, and waiting for an answer. I want desperately to hear back from Him, but I'm too scared that it won't happen. I don't want to be let down again... but, in the long run, at the end, what's waiting for me... is it worth it?
...
Love Always,
Maddie
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Camp is over, but is the blog?
Dear World,
Yes, camp is over. But I have not yet decided if I will end the blog. To have the blog as something to keep with and always have a thought in the back of my head that I have to write another post, is so good for me. It keeps me plugged into the day and aware of what is going on. Another thing though is, the blog was originally for writing about what is going on while I was at SAMBICA, and now that camp is over, it would only be obvious that the blog would be also. Would people still want to read it after camp? That's my only question. I guess it would keep things interesting, you know, carrying what I learned at SAMBICA back home with me, and other people can read about how it has changed and effected my life. Still debating in my head.
Friday was my last day at camp. It has been absolutely fantastic. God used SAMBICA as a tool to finally speak to me in ways He never has before. I'm definitely going home changed. The thing I'm going to miss about the camp the most is how the other ELITE can speak volumes into, not only my life, but other people's as well. It's not only the mentors. And most of the time, it's not even small ways. It's legitimate, heart to heart, encouragement that everything is going to be ok. We are truly being trained for something amazing. It's awesome to see, nearly all of the ELITEs wanting and longing to be there for one another. We grow so close that it hurts us to see the other hurt. And I'm not just saying that from my point of view. Others have said it as well.
This program. The ELITEs. It's all amazing what the camp is doing. God is using them to change hundreds of lives, and mine is one of them.
In Him,
Maddie
Yes, camp is over. But I have not yet decided if I will end the blog. To have the blog as something to keep with and always have a thought in the back of my head that I have to write another post, is so good for me. It keeps me plugged into the day and aware of what is going on. Another thing though is, the blog was originally for writing about what is going on while I was at SAMBICA, and now that camp is over, it would only be obvious that the blog would be also. Would people still want to read it after camp? That's my only question. I guess it would keep things interesting, you know, carrying what I learned at SAMBICA back home with me, and other people can read about how it has changed and effected my life. Still debating in my head.
Friday was my last day at camp. It has been absolutely fantastic. God used SAMBICA as a tool to finally speak to me in ways He never has before. I'm definitely going home changed. The thing I'm going to miss about the camp the most is how the other ELITE can speak volumes into, not only my life, but other people's as well. It's not only the mentors. And most of the time, it's not even small ways. It's legitimate, heart to heart, encouragement that everything is going to be ok. We are truly being trained for something amazing. It's awesome to see, nearly all of the ELITEs wanting and longing to be there for one another. We grow so close that it hurts us to see the other hurt. And I'm not just saying that from my point of view. Others have said it as well.
This program. The ELITEs. It's all amazing what the camp is doing. God is using them to change hundreds of lives, and mine is one of them.
In Him,
Maddie
Friday, July 23, 2010
Mentor Appreciation: Tokyo
Dear World,
Tokyo was our ELITE supervisor. She wasn't exactly a mentor, but she had everything to do with the ELITEs, so I am going to write a mentor appreciation about her too.
Tokyo is the single most awesomest person I've ever met. She also happens to be indescribable. When she talks, she's very "here's the truth, and now it's your choice" sorta thing, ya know? She completely speaks on truth and shows us... the truth, basically. No, beating around the bush, or doing a build up sorta thing. It's very plain, and simple. And i love how she delivers her messages so amazingly. She's also incredibly dorky, and funny. She's not a crowd pleaser and is completely individual in an, I'm going to do it my way, sorta thing. But also, not an arrogant or immature and selfish, I'm going to do it my way, sorta thing. She's very accepting, and loving. I love her, and am thankful to her for being our ELITE supervisor!
I<3tokes!
In Him,
Maddie
Tokyo was our ELITE supervisor. She wasn't exactly a mentor, but she had everything to do with the ELITEs, so I am going to write a mentor appreciation about her too.
Tokyo is the single most awesomest person I've ever met. She also happens to be indescribable. When she talks, she's very "here's the truth, and now it's your choice" sorta thing, ya know? She completely speaks on truth and shows us... the truth, basically. No, beating around the bush, or doing a build up sorta thing. It's very plain, and simple. And i love how she delivers her messages so amazingly. She's also incredibly dorky, and funny. She's not a crowd pleaser and is completely individual in an, I'm going to do it my way, sorta thing. But also, not an arrogant or immature and selfish, I'm going to do it my way, sorta thing. She's very accepting, and loving. I love her, and am thankful to her for being our ELITE supervisor!
I<3tokes!
In Him,
Maddie
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Mentor Appreciation: Dodge City
Dear World,
Just thought I'd finish it all up. I'll do Tokyo on Friday.
Dodge is one of the coolest people I've ever met. Or, actually, one of those people who thinks their insanely cool. And he is! He's hilariously cool, but it cracks me up how cool he thinks he builds himself up to be. Not only is he cool, but he is one of the most gifted speakers I've ever had the privilege of listening to before in my life. It's amazing! I love listening to him talk. When He talks, it's almost like I can hear God talking to me through His mouth. And that has happened with other mentors, but it seem to happen every single time he gets up in forum to talk. That and his cocky coolness (just kidding, he's not cocky. It's just hilarious) are what I'll miss the most about Dodge City.
Dodge is awesome and makes cleaning bathrooms not as nasty and gross and boring and terrible of a job as it seem it should be.
Will miss ya Dodge!
In Him,
Maddie
Just thought I'd finish it all up. I'll do Tokyo on Friday.
Dodge is one of the coolest people I've ever met. Or, actually, one of those people who thinks their insanely cool. And he is! He's hilariously cool, but it cracks me up how cool he thinks he builds himself up to be. Not only is he cool, but he is one of the most gifted speakers I've ever had the privilege of listening to before in my life. It's amazing! I love listening to him talk. When He talks, it's almost like I can hear God talking to me through His mouth. And that has happened with other mentors, but it seem to happen every single time he gets up in forum to talk. That and his cocky coolness (just kidding, he's not cocky. It's just hilarious) are what I'll miss the most about Dodge City.
Dodge is awesome and makes cleaning bathrooms not as nasty and gross and boring and terrible of a job as it seem it should be.
Will miss ya Dodge!
In Him,
Maddie
Mentor Appreciation: Pluto
Dear World,
Just thought I'd throw Pluto into the bunch of mentors that I'm doing tonight.
Pluto was the first Dining Hall mentor. And I absolutely loved her to pieces. Dining Hall was my favorite work area, just because she was doing it. I'm not entirely sure why. It was just probably her awesome... strange, personality. I've opened up the most to PlutseyBaby. (I still hate it!) The strange thing is though, I feel like she really listens. Often times, when I tell people about things, yes, they listen, but they don't really... listen. You know what I mean? Like they have their ears turned on, but their not actually processing anything I'm saying. I feel like Pluto really does listen, and she responds. (normally with a question first.. lol) She's entertaining, WEIRD, loving, caring, generous, selfish, whinny, and annoying. But it's all apart of the wonderful Pluto that I had to learn how to love. lol. just kidding.
I<3you sooo much, and will miss you even more!
In Him,
Maddie Rose
Just thought I'd throw Pluto into the bunch of mentors that I'm doing tonight.
Pluto was the first Dining Hall mentor. And I absolutely loved her to pieces. Dining Hall was my favorite work area, just because she was doing it. I'm not entirely sure why. It was just probably her awesome... strange, personality. I've opened up the most to PlutseyBaby. (I still hate it!) The strange thing is though, I feel like she really listens. Often times, when I tell people about things, yes, they listen, but they don't really... listen. You know what I mean? Like they have their ears turned on, but their not actually processing anything I'm saying. I feel like Pluto really does listen, and she responds. (normally with a question first.. lol) She's entertaining, WEIRD, loving, caring, generous, selfish, whinny, and annoying. But it's all apart of the wonderful Pluto that I had to learn how to love. lol. just kidding.
I<3you sooo much, and will miss you even more!
In Him,
Maddie Rose
Mentor Appreciation: Lady
Dear World,
(over night, night is tomorrow so Imma do Lady now)
I haven't gotten to know Lady as well as some of the other mentors because this was her first session as sthe dinning hall mentor. She has been such a Joy to have for a mentor though. She's sweet and funny and nice. She knows her stuff to. (Biblically) I wish I would have been able to get to know her better, because this is my last session, but the time that I have known her has been amazing. Tomorrow I have her for dining hall, which is why I'm writing this tonight instead of in the morning. Lady is amazing. I really do wish I would have gotten a chance to get to know her better.
but I do <3you Lady!
Maddie
(over night, night is tomorrow so Imma do Lady now)
I haven't gotten to know Lady as well as some of the other mentors because this was her first session as sthe dinning hall mentor. She has been such a Joy to have for a mentor though. She's sweet and funny and nice. She knows her stuff to. (Biblically) I wish I would have been able to get to know her better, because this is my last session, but the time that I have known her has been amazing. Tomorrow I have her for dining hall, which is why I'm writing this tonight instead of in the morning. Lady is amazing. I really do wish I would have gotten a chance to get to know her better.
but I do <3you Lady!
Maddie
Mentor Appreciation: Kitty
Dear World,
Today, I had Kitty for an area mentor. Oh, what good memories. I'm going to share a brief story before I move on in my telling of Kitty.
The first day of maintenance, when we did a garbage run, there was this one hill. No, lets not call it a hill. That's a bit of an understatement. There was this mountain. And this mountain had a dramatic slope. When you got to the bottum of the mountain where you entered the street, there were some cars there. Probable 2 or 3. Kitty had a cart on the back of the golf cart, so it made it especially difficult. So when we got to the bottom of the mountain, Kitty got stuck in this little patch of road because he accidentally parked backwards. It took him like 10 freakin minutes to get turned around, and the whole time I'm dying from laughter in the passenger seat.. haha
So ya, tuns of memories with Kitty. He is so chill... Chill Kitty! It's one of the funniest things to hear him try and yell. It's like a small, scared child, calling to hid mommy. The only thing is, the small scared child is up a 50 foot tree and has lost his voice due to the amount of screaming the child was doing to get someones attention. After the child has lost his voice is when you compare it to Kitty. It's hilarious. Kitty is lay back, and cool. Kitty is Kitty, and that's really all there is to it. He is such a Godly man and I love listening to Him talk in forum.
I will miss Kitty SO so much!
In Him,
Maddie
Today, I had Kitty for an area mentor. Oh, what good memories. I'm going to share a brief story before I move on in my telling of Kitty.
The first day of maintenance, when we did a garbage run, there was this one hill. No, lets not call it a hill. That's a bit of an understatement. There was this mountain. And this mountain had a dramatic slope. When you got to the bottum of the mountain where you entered the street, there were some cars there. Probable 2 or 3. Kitty had a cart on the back of the golf cart, so it made it especially difficult. So when we got to the bottom of the mountain, Kitty got stuck in this little patch of road because he accidentally parked backwards. It took him like 10 freakin minutes to get turned around, and the whole time I'm dying from laughter in the passenger seat.. haha
So ya, tuns of memories with Kitty. He is so chill... Chill Kitty! It's one of the funniest things to hear him try and yell. It's like a small, scared child, calling to hid mommy. The only thing is, the small scared child is up a 50 foot tree and has lost his voice due to the amount of screaming the child was doing to get someones attention. After the child has lost his voice is when you compare it to Kitty. It's hilarious. Kitty is lay back, and cool. Kitty is Kitty, and that's really all there is to it. He is such a Godly man and I love listening to Him talk in forum.
I will miss Kitty SO so much!
In Him,
Maddie
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Mentor Appreciation: TigerLily
Dear World,
Today it's TigerLily. =P
She made camp so freakin legit. Fun? no. Entertaining? no. Happy? no.
Crazy? yes! Like a one man circus? yes! Ecstatic? yes!
TigerLily has made camp soooo fun! Not only is she exceptionally hilarious! But she's kind, and caring, and compassionate, and understanding. She's many different things. But most of all, she's herself. She aspires to be, TigerLily. She's 100% original, and no one can even attempt to be her. TigerLily has been absolutely awesome! I'll miss her SO so much!
Love to you TigerLily! Had an awesome day with ya.
In Him,
Maddie Rose
Today it's TigerLily. =P
She made camp so freakin legit. Fun? no. Entertaining? no. Happy? no.
Crazy? yes! Like a one man circus? yes! Ecstatic? yes!
TigerLily has made camp soooo fun! Not only is she exceptionally hilarious! But she's kind, and caring, and compassionate, and understanding. She's many different things. But most of all, she's herself. She aspires to be, TigerLily. She's 100% original, and no one can even attempt to be her. TigerLily has been absolutely awesome! I'll miss her SO so much!
Love to you TigerLily! Had an awesome day with ya.
In Him,
Maddie Rose
Monday, July 19, 2010
Mentor Appreciation: L4D
Dear World,
This is my last week and in addition to what I'm usually writing about, I'll do a small thing for mentor appreciation. Today was just a freakin bomb day, and that's all I really have to say about that. soo, time to appreciate the mentors. Everyday that I have a mentor at a certain workplace, I'll talk about them, that way I can get them all.
Soo, l4d. L4d is special to me in something of a different way. I bonded with her first. (literally, like, first day) All the other mentors at the beginning were weird to me just because I liked l4d so much, and didn't really care about them. Fyi, that changed pretty quickly. L4d is seriously like a mother hen bird who takes all the little hens under her wings and makes them feel loved, and safe. I didn't necessarily feel loved and safe with her, just like she was a pretty cool dude and it was awesome getting to know her. I deffinetly screwed things up with my teenage immaturity but I was shocked at how... not so much easy, but natural it seemed that it was for her to forgive me. It was different.. different in a good way of course! I love how she loves hugs, and how easy she is to talk to, and perfect of a target she is for practical jokes.. ;) I'll miss l4d sooo, so, so, so, so, so, so, MUCH!
I<3L4D!
Tomorrow I think is TigerLily... oooh, that should be interesting. =)
Love Always,
Maddie
This is my last week and in addition to what I'm usually writing about, I'll do a small thing for mentor appreciation. Today was just a freakin bomb day, and that's all I really have to say about that. soo, time to appreciate the mentors. Everyday that I have a mentor at a certain workplace, I'll talk about them, that way I can get them all.
Soo, l4d. L4d is special to me in something of a different way. I bonded with her first. (literally, like, first day) All the other mentors at the beginning were weird to me just because I liked l4d so much, and didn't really care about them. Fyi, that changed pretty quickly. L4d is seriously like a mother hen bird who takes all the little hens under her wings and makes them feel loved, and safe. I didn't necessarily feel loved and safe with her, just like she was a pretty cool dude and it was awesome getting to know her. I deffinetly screwed things up with my teenage immaturity but I was shocked at how... not so much easy, but natural it seemed that it was for her to forgive me. It was different.. different in a good way of course! I love how she loves hugs, and how easy she is to talk to, and perfect of a target she is for practical jokes.. ;) I'll miss l4d sooo, so, so, so, so, so, so, MUCH!
I<3L4D!
Tomorrow I think is TigerLily... oooh, that should be interesting. =)
Love Always,
Maddie
Friday, July 16, 2010
Withdrawn
Dear World,
SAMBICA is amazing. They've helped me discover a lot about myself, and pushed me to making my relationship with God more personal. Sambica... I love the camp. I'm incredibly sad that next week is my last week. I would have been here for a total of 5 weeks. (no wonder the mentors are getting tired of me. :P) I would trade my entire summer plans to be there for the rest of the session and session 3.
Yesterday, and today, I was withdrawn from the fun and excitement that SAMBICA has to offer. A lot has been going on at home and it's easy for me to get distracted and start thinking about my situation at home. I don't like being on this seemingly emotional roller coaster. I love being here, and I enjoy it so much, and I've been having so much fun. But sometimes, realization about things that are happening in the house that I have to go back to, 2 states away, will crash over me, and I'll just get withdrawn. I feel as if people, elites, mentors, get annoyed with how easily my mood changes. But I just can't help it. I can't help but feel sad about what's going on at home. I can't help but be emotional about things that are happening in my life. I can't help when one second I'm crazy and hyper and am having fun, and the next I'm sad and sullen and am seemingly depressed.
Life sucks...
and I can sit here and focus everything that's gone wrong with me and how much it sucks and how many ways I can mope and be upset and yada yada yada. Yes, I'm going through trials, and it is hard, and I will be upset, but the longer I rant about how hard it is, the harder it will be to thank God for the things that I do have.
I am going to list a few of the things that I'm thankful for, here-
Growing up in a Christian home
Knowing that my parents love me
Having both my parents alive, and healthy
Having an older sister
Having a younger sister
Jesus saving my life, and loving lowly, filthy, disgusting, wretched me
Friends that make me smile and friends that I know will be there for me during the hard times
L4d, for being there the moment I needed someone to talk to. aka, first day, and several days since then
Pluto, for letting me share my heart, and thoughts I'm having, with her
TigerLily, for being a fresh, funny, entertaining spirit. because, Lord knows, we definitely need some entertainment in our lives.
Kitty, for all the little things. his small jokes, his pathetic comebacks, his uncanny way of making everyone comfortable around each other
DodgeCity, for his gift of speaking and preaching because through some of the talks he's done during forum, I've been able to hear God speaking clearly to me through his mouth.
I have so much more to be thankful for, but that will do for now. I shouldn't let what's going on in my life rob me of so much of my joy. I think that it is good to be sad, and feel the pain, but when it makes it hard to focus on the positive is when I should be worried.
In Him,
Maddie
SAMBICA is amazing. They've helped me discover a lot about myself, and pushed me to making my relationship with God more personal. Sambica... I love the camp. I'm incredibly sad that next week is my last week. I would have been here for a total of 5 weeks. (no wonder the mentors are getting tired of me. :P) I would trade my entire summer plans to be there for the rest of the session and session 3.
Yesterday, and today, I was withdrawn from the fun and excitement that SAMBICA has to offer. A lot has been going on at home and it's easy for me to get distracted and start thinking about my situation at home. I don't like being on this seemingly emotional roller coaster. I love being here, and I enjoy it so much, and I've been having so much fun. But sometimes, realization about things that are happening in the house that I have to go back to, 2 states away, will crash over me, and I'll just get withdrawn. I feel as if people, elites, mentors, get annoyed with how easily my mood changes. But I just can't help it. I can't help but feel sad about what's going on at home. I can't help but be emotional about things that are happening in my life. I can't help when one second I'm crazy and hyper and am having fun, and the next I'm sad and sullen and am seemingly depressed.
Life sucks...
and I can sit here and focus everything that's gone wrong with me and how much it sucks and how many ways I can mope and be upset and yada yada yada. Yes, I'm going through trials, and it is hard, and I will be upset, but the longer I rant about how hard it is, the harder it will be to thank God for the things that I do have.
I am going to list a few of the things that I'm thankful for, here-
Growing up in a Christian home
Knowing that my parents love me
Having both my parents alive, and healthy
Having an older sister
Having a younger sister
Jesus saving my life, and loving lowly, filthy, disgusting, wretched me
Friends that make me smile and friends that I know will be there for me during the hard times
L4d, for being there the moment I needed someone to talk to. aka, first day, and several days since then
Pluto, for letting me share my heart, and thoughts I'm having, with her
TigerLily, for being a fresh, funny, entertaining spirit. because, Lord knows, we definitely need some entertainment in our lives.
Kitty, for all the little things. his small jokes, his pathetic comebacks, his uncanny way of making everyone comfortable around each other
DodgeCity, for his gift of speaking and preaching because through some of the talks he's done during forum, I've been able to hear God speaking clearly to me through his mouth.
I have so much more to be thankful for, but that will do for now. I shouldn't let what's going on in my life rob me of so much of my joy. I think that it is good to be sad, and feel the pain, but when it makes it hard to focus on the positive is when I should be worried.
In Him,
Maddie
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Broken Hearts, God's Plan
Dear World,
Ok, 2 things.
#1. today we had ropes course. see my post Trust the Ropes if you haven't before. It will explain the nights events almost perfectly. (it's one of my earlier ones)
and #2. This week, I was trying to see if I was able to get baptized. I was baptized once, 2 years ago. But in between now, and then, a lot happened to make the baptism mean nearly nothing. I was about 12, and I didn't fully understand what it means to be baptized. I don't feel like I was baptized, I feel like I just went swimming or something. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I felt the need to do it again. Unfortunately though, SAMBICA believes in only being baptized once, so our ELITE Supervisor, Tokyo, told me that they weren't going to let me do it. I was very heartbroken about it, and didn't understand why it was happening. I honestly felt like this is what I HAD to do.
I've gone through a lot while I've been at SAMBICA. A lot changed in the way I view my relationship with God and how I want it to be a long lasting 'not just a camp or summer' thing. Getting baptized, here, at SAMBICA, with these people who helped me realize so much of what I've learned... I just felt like it was exactly what God wanted for me to do. And you know what, I can say enough times, "God had it happen for a reason", and "what I planned isn't God's plan", or "it'll play out just the way He wants it to"... You all may think I'm just saying that because that's just what a typical gcg (good christian girl) would say, but no. I'm not a gcg. In fact, I hate stereo types with a passion. I'm saying these things because, I truly believe that God has a bigger plan for me and that my plan is not His plan. I'm only human. I am not getting baptized for a reason. I don't know yet what that reason is, but that's what God planned so I'm ok with it.
I was very upset by it, but I basically planned this whole post out, word for word when we were at dinner at the camp today. It gave me some peace of mind to realize some of this and helped me have a better night.
Love Always,
Maddie Rose
Ok, 2 things.
#1. today we had ropes course. see my post Trust the Ropes if you haven't before. It will explain the nights events almost perfectly. (it's one of my earlier ones)
and #2. This week, I was trying to see if I was able to get baptized. I was baptized once, 2 years ago. But in between now, and then, a lot happened to make the baptism mean nearly nothing. I was about 12, and I didn't fully understand what it means to be baptized. I don't feel like I was baptized, I feel like I just went swimming or something. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I felt the need to do it again. Unfortunately though, SAMBICA believes in only being baptized once, so our ELITE Supervisor, Tokyo, told me that they weren't going to let me do it. I was very heartbroken about it, and didn't understand why it was happening. I honestly felt like this is what I HAD to do.
I've gone through a lot while I've been at SAMBICA. A lot changed in the way I view my relationship with God and how I want it to be a long lasting 'not just a camp or summer' thing. Getting baptized, here, at SAMBICA, with these people who helped me realize so much of what I've learned... I just felt like it was exactly what God wanted for me to do. And you know what, I can say enough times, "God had it happen for a reason", and "what I planned isn't God's plan", or "it'll play out just the way He wants it to"... You all may think I'm just saying that because that's just what a typical gcg (good christian girl) would say, but no. I'm not a gcg. In fact, I hate stereo types with a passion. I'm saying these things because, I truly believe that God has a bigger plan for me and that my plan is not His plan. I'm only human. I am not getting baptized for a reason. I don't know yet what that reason is, but that's what God planned so I'm ok with it.
I was very upset by it, but I basically planned this whole post out, word for word when we were at dinner at the camp today. It gave me some peace of mind to realize some of this and helped me have a better night.
Love Always,
Maddie Rose
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Good Day
Dear World,
Today was a pretty good day. May I talk about how good of a day it was? Good, because I'm the one writing this blog. I'm in control. Mwahahaha.
Today I had kitchen duty. Which, isn't that bad. Except I stayed at one of the most difficult stations to work at when you do Kitchen, all day. No one switched with me. But that's because I told them not to. I wanted to work extra hard today because I had something of a lame work day yesterday with Lower Camp. So I felt pretty good about that. Afterwords, when we were down at Lower Camp, just chillen, I was able to "vent" to one of the mentors-(I LOVE YOU!) just about some things that are goin on in my life, and stuff I've been thinking about. It was good for me to talk about it with someone. One of the other ELITEs happens to be a FANTASTIC guitar player, so he let me sing while he played some songs. And that was awesome because I really miss my band!!
It was a good day. The only downer was I was getting stressed about camp stuff. But that's ok. That will play out on it's own, and whatever happens will happen because God planned for it to go that way.
In Him,
Maddie
P.S. Delaney Adel. I'm menchening you here, like you asked me to.
Today was a pretty good day. May I talk about how good of a day it was? Good, because I'm the one writing this blog. I'm in control. Mwahahaha.
Today I had kitchen duty. Which, isn't that bad. Except I stayed at one of the most difficult stations to work at when you do Kitchen, all day. No one switched with me. But that's because I told them not to. I wanted to work extra hard today because I had something of a lame work day yesterday with Lower Camp. So I felt pretty good about that. Afterwords, when we were down at Lower Camp, just chillen, I was able to "vent" to one of the mentors-(I LOVE YOU!) just about some things that are goin on in my life, and stuff I've been thinking about. It was good for me to talk about it with someone. One of the other ELITEs happens to be a FANTASTIC guitar player, so he let me sing while he played some songs. And that was awesome because I really miss my band!!
It was a good day. The only downer was I was getting stressed about camp stuff. But that's ok. That will play out on it's own, and whatever happens will happen because God planned for it to go that way.
In Him,
Maddie
P.S. Delaney Adel. I'm menchening you here, like you asked me to.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Battle
Dear World,
Ok, for starters, just like God is real, the devil is also.
While I've been at SAMBICA I've realized more so than ever before how much I need to lean on God and give my burdens and stresses up to Him. Today, I was talking with one of the mentors, and something had come up that day that had reminded me of a tragic experience from when I was a little younger. This mentor told me (and I think this was God trying to give me a heads up through her mouth) that the reason this had been brought back to mind is because the devil was trying to discourage me and turn my attention away from God. Because I am trying harder than ever before to lean on God the devil is going to try even harder to discourage me and pull me away.
You know how, in a war, you've got your good side and then you got your bad side. The bad side's army is very much bigger and stronger then the good sides. The good side starts loosing and getting defeated. After a while the bad side starts getting confident that they have everything under control, and they stop worrying about whats happening. But then, lets say that the good side gets the heads up about a weapon that will defeat this army. So they go out and start searching for this weapon. When they find it, they come back harder and stronger. The bad side notices the change and they come back harder and stronger and faster with newer, younger, and stronger men to fight.
The devil will come back harder. He will never stop fighting. But God will come, and He will take over the fight. He will battle the devil to the ground, and God will win!
That's all for today. I had to get that outta my system.
In Him,
Maddie
Ok, for starters, just like God is real, the devil is also.
While I've been at SAMBICA I've realized more so than ever before how much I need to lean on God and give my burdens and stresses up to Him. Today, I was talking with one of the mentors, and something had come up that day that had reminded me of a tragic experience from when I was a little younger. This mentor told me (and I think this was God trying to give me a heads up through her mouth) that the reason this had been brought back to mind is because the devil was trying to discourage me and turn my attention away from God. Because I am trying harder than ever before to lean on God the devil is going to try even harder to discourage me and pull me away.
You know how, in a war, you've got your good side and then you got your bad side. The bad side's army is very much bigger and stronger then the good sides. The good side starts loosing and getting defeated. After a while the bad side starts getting confident that they have everything under control, and they stop worrying about whats happening. But then, lets say that the good side gets the heads up about a weapon that will defeat this army. So they go out and start searching for this weapon. When they find it, they come back harder and stronger. The bad side notices the change and they come back harder and stronger and faster with newer, younger, and stronger men to fight.
The devil will come back harder. He will never stop fighting. But God will come, and He will take over the fight. He will battle the devil to the ground, and God will win!
That's all for today. I had to get that outta my system.
In Him,
Maddie
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friends are important
Dear World,
One thing I'm greatly thankful for from the ELITE program is the people. I tend to struggle with surrounding myself with good friends, and I'm so glad that the ELITE program has some amazing people. Most of the other kids who sign up, love Jesus, and want to know Him in a deeper, more personal way. It's been good for me to surround myself with these people because, even though that is what I'm shooting for as well, they help me achieve that too. It would be so much harder if I was surrounded with people who didn't give a crap. Lots of people at home are just like that, but the other high schoolers who have been here to help me have also shown me what I should look for in a friend back in southern cali. Most of the people back home are going to try to hold me back and not let me get that long term goal of becoming more like Jesus, but I know now from the friends I've made here how I should go about dealing with the people at home and how not to let them get to me and pull me down. I will forever miss these people from session 1. I'll be sad when I've gotta work at the camp next week without them. But the good thing is, I'll make more friends and I'll grow close to them, and learn about them, and they'll learn about me.
SAMBICA is such a good place, and this program is absolutely amazing. I plan on trying to do it again next year. God is using this camp to transform and mold me into His original masterpiece. His perfectly thought out, designed, and planned, original masterpiece. Sometimes, I think we all need to sit back and say to ourselves "I am God's original masterpiece". For me, it would be "Maddie is God's original masterpiece". He is still molding me, He is still shaping me. And He will continue to do so after I leave this camp. I won't be sucked back into my old ways. I will give my burdens up to God and He will carry them for me. I love you God!
In Him,
Maddie
One thing I'm greatly thankful for from the ELITE program is the people. I tend to struggle with surrounding myself with good friends, and I'm so glad that the ELITE program has some amazing people. Most of the other kids who sign up, love Jesus, and want to know Him in a deeper, more personal way. It's been good for me to surround myself with these people because, even though that is what I'm shooting for as well, they help me achieve that too. It would be so much harder if I was surrounded with people who didn't give a crap. Lots of people at home are just like that, but the other high schoolers who have been here to help me have also shown me what I should look for in a friend back in southern cali. Most of the people back home are going to try to hold me back and not let me get that long term goal of becoming more like Jesus, but I know now from the friends I've made here how I should go about dealing with the people at home and how not to let them get to me and pull me down. I will forever miss these people from session 1. I'll be sad when I've gotta work at the camp next week without them. But the good thing is, I'll make more friends and I'll grow close to them, and learn about them, and they'll learn about me.
SAMBICA is such a good place, and this program is absolutely amazing. I plan on trying to do it again next year. God is using this camp to transform and mold me into His original masterpiece. His perfectly thought out, designed, and planned, original masterpiece. Sometimes, I think we all need to sit back and say to ourselves "I am God's original masterpiece". For me, it would be "Maddie is God's original masterpiece". He is still molding me, He is still shaping me. And He will continue to do so after I leave this camp. I won't be sucked back into my old ways. I will give my burdens up to God and He will carry them for me. I love you God!
In Him,
Maddie
Friday, July 9, 2010
SAMBICA friends and saying goodbye
Dear World,
Unfortunately, I had to babysit wednesday night, so I never got around to writing another post. I'll do that now. I remember, I had something in my head that I was gonna wright about, but I kinda forget. Wait a second, I'll try to remember it... la de do do, do da da do... Oh ya.
So, wednesday I had Lower Camp, with one my awesome mentors, L4D, and when we were down there all the ELITEs decided to go on water toys. Like, the floating trampoline in the water and the huge inflatable that people jump off of. Wednesday was my first day back in the water after I hurt my back. I wasn't scared or nervous or anything. It was just fun! I was just having a crap load of fun with these people I'd only known for a couple weeks. But, in a deeper way, I'd really known them much longer. Not only the mentors, but the ELITEs also. There was a close bonding that was going on those couple of weeks. In a way, we'd already been aware of one another. It was just a matter of getting to know, love, and bond with each other. We're sisters and brothers in Christ. We'll never be completely apart from one another.
Saying goodbye to people today was not an easy thing. There's a possibility I may never see them again in my life. They have grown me and helped me in my faith. It was actually the ELITEs more so then it was the mentors. (though the mentors were absolutely fantastic and I'll never forget them!) The mentors can preach to you, and talk to you about God, and be your mentor to some extent. But it's the people that you hang around with, that you grow close to and you open yourself up to that have an impact on your life. They mold, and shape you, and the ELITEs, (especially the PITs and JCs) were so amazing in being there for me these past 3 weeks. I'll never forget them and how willing they were to be there for me when I needed someone.
Love SAMBICA forever,
Maddie
Unfortunately, I had to babysit wednesday night, so I never got around to writing another post. I'll do that now. I remember, I had something in my head that I was gonna wright about, but I kinda forget. Wait a second, I'll try to remember it... la de do do, do da da do... Oh ya.
So, wednesday I had Lower Camp, with one my awesome mentors, L4D, and when we were down there all the ELITEs decided to go on water toys. Like, the floating trampoline in the water and the huge inflatable that people jump off of. Wednesday was my first day back in the water after I hurt my back. I wasn't scared or nervous or anything. It was just fun! I was just having a crap load of fun with these people I'd only known for a couple weeks. But, in a deeper way, I'd really known them much longer. Not only the mentors, but the ELITEs also. There was a close bonding that was going on those couple of weeks. In a way, we'd already been aware of one another. It was just a matter of getting to know, love, and bond with each other. We're sisters and brothers in Christ. We'll never be completely apart from one another.
Saying goodbye to people today was not an easy thing. There's a possibility I may never see them again in my life. They have grown me and helped me in my faith. It was actually the ELITEs more so then it was the mentors. (though the mentors were absolutely fantastic and I'll never forget them!) The mentors can preach to you, and talk to you about God, and be your mentor to some extent. But it's the people that you hang around with, that you grow close to and you open yourself up to that have an impact on your life. They mold, and shape you, and the ELITEs, (especially the PITs and JCs) were so amazing in being there for me these past 3 weeks. I'll never forget them and how willing they were to be there for me when I needed someone.
Love SAMBICA forever,
Maddie
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I couldn't think of a title for this one...
Dear World,
Today was a particularly difficult day. I often times don't realize how my actions effect other people. I ended up hurting one of the other ELITEs because of it. It got to a point where one of the mentors intervened and made us sit down with her and talk about what was going on. One thing in-particular I hadn't even noticed that I had done, but that was my immature ignorance.
Why does that happen? Why are we (sometimes) unknowingly mean to other people. It can be the cause for sooo much hurt and pain. I was so frustrated with what had happened because I felt like I'd let God down. It, in and of itself, was not crazy and extremely bad. This girl was hurt, yes, but compared to other things, it could have been easily avoided. I'm not sure why I was effected so deeply by this incident though. It wasn't life changing. It was merely a rough patch in a relationship with a friend that I'm not even extremely close to. So... why was it such a big deal? I had started crying when the mentor was talking to the two of us. And I sat by myself for about a half hour, thinking and mulling this incident over in my head. I was close to tears the whole time.
So anyways... I didn't feel like comparing something that happened during the day to how I could have done it better, or how it relates to Christianity. This had been a big part of the day, and it has been on my mind for quite some time. That's basically what I'm using this blog for though. Writing down the big events of the day, good, or bad. Maybe, after a night of thinking things over, and another day at camp, I'll have better thoughts and feelings about what happened.
In Him,
Maddie
Today was a particularly difficult day. I often times don't realize how my actions effect other people. I ended up hurting one of the other ELITEs because of it. It got to a point where one of the mentors intervened and made us sit down with her and talk about what was going on. One thing in-particular I hadn't even noticed that I had done, but that was my immature ignorance.
Why does that happen? Why are we (sometimes) unknowingly mean to other people. It can be the cause for sooo much hurt and pain. I was so frustrated with what had happened because I felt like I'd let God down. It, in and of itself, was not crazy and extremely bad. This girl was hurt, yes, but compared to other things, it could have been easily avoided. I'm not sure why I was effected so deeply by this incident though. It wasn't life changing. It was merely a rough patch in a relationship with a friend that I'm not even extremely close to. So... why was it such a big deal? I had started crying when the mentor was talking to the two of us. And I sat by myself for about a half hour, thinking and mulling this incident over in my head. I was close to tears the whole time.
So anyways... I didn't feel like comparing something that happened during the day to how I could have done it better, or how it relates to Christianity. This had been a big part of the day, and it has been on my mind for quite some time. That's basically what I'm using this blog for though. Writing down the big events of the day, good, or bad. Maybe, after a night of thinking things over, and another day at camp, I'll have better thoughts and feelings about what happened.
In Him,
Maddie
Monday, July 5, 2010
Does he believe?
Dear World,
So today we were sitting around with the girl mentors and some random supervisor who I didn't really know and we were talking about relationships and stuff. One of the mentors said that she wouldn't even consider dating someone who wasn't a Christian... or something to that effect. I've always held that to a really high level when I think of the man I'm gonna marry and stuff, but normally when I tell people that, even Christian friends, they think it's the oddest thing. I'm the same as this mentor, I don't even want to consider dating someone who isn't a Christian, but it totally took me by surprise when she had said that.
Most of my Christian friends don't think that their future husband or wife's faith is of big importance. To me, it is. When you get married, and you marry a non-Christian, it completely effects the whole dynamics of your marriage. You can't really talk about your faith with your partner, depending on how he or she sees the religion. And if you happen to be having some big spiritual growth, problems, changes, etc. you can't really talk to your partner about it because they can't relate with you. You should be able to relate with your husband/wife in every way, and for me, religion will be a big one.
Anyway, that's one thing I got from today. I'm, oddly, exhausted. Probably due to the long wait for lunch seeing as I had dining hall today. lol, jk. I love dinning hall. But I'm probably gonna go to bed now.
In Him,
Maddie
Saturday, July 3, 2010
A Symphony of Hannah Songs
Dear World,
One of the other ELITEs happens to be a Hannah Montana FAN! His words are, "Hannah is a beautiful woman!" I'm pretty sure he could care less about Miley. Anyway, one of the PITs started singing hannah songs and then he took over. It was hilarious. He knew EVERY single one, and he was getting completely into it. Soul and everything! But what I thought was hilarious was that, you name any Hannah song, and he knew it!
I don't think there's anything wrong with this ELITE really liking Hannah Montana, infact, I think that had been one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen in my life. I just wish that I had the same amount of passion to know Christ like he has a desire to know Hannah songs. We have these HUGE desires for all these different things. Random things. Water bottles, sweatshirts, pens, bright colors, etc. What if we just, transported that same amount of desire and want from those earthly things, to reading our Bibles regularly, wanting to know God on a deeper and more personal level, living out what we say we do regularly but never actually do. I just think we put so much of ourselves into things on earth that have no value. Seems kinda silly if you ask me.
Well, until tomorrow,
Maddie
One of the other ELITEs happens to be a Hannah Montana FAN! His words are, "Hannah is a beautiful woman!" I'm pretty sure he could care less about Miley. Anyway, one of the PITs started singing hannah songs and then he took over. It was hilarious. He knew EVERY single one, and he was getting completely into it. Soul and everything! But what I thought was hilarious was that, you name any Hannah song, and he knew it!
I don't think there's anything wrong with this ELITE really liking Hannah Montana, infact, I think that had been one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen in my life. I just wish that I had the same amount of passion to know Christ like he has a desire to know Hannah songs. We have these HUGE desires for all these different things. Random things. Water bottles, sweatshirts, pens, bright colors, etc. What if we just, transported that same amount of desire and want from those earthly things, to reading our Bibles regularly, wanting to know God on a deeper and more personal level, living out what we say we do regularly but never actually do. I just think we put so much of ourselves into things on earth that have no value. Seems kinda silly if you ask me.
Well, until tomorrow,
Maddie
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