Broken Hearts, God's Plan

Dear World,

Ok, 2 things.
#1. today we had ropes course. see my post Trust the Ropes if you haven't before. It will explain the nights events almost perfectly. (it's one of my earlier ones)

and #2. This week, I was trying to see if I was able to get baptized. I was baptized once, 2 years ago. But in between now, and then, a lot happened to make the baptism mean nearly nothing. I was about 12, and I didn't fully understand what it means to be baptized. I don't feel like I was baptized, I feel like I just went swimming or something. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I felt the need to do it again. Unfortunately though, SAMBICA believes in only being baptized once, so our ELITE Supervisor, Tokyo, told me that they weren't going to let me do it. I was very heartbroken about it, and didn't understand why it was happening. I honestly felt like this is what I HAD to do.

I've gone through a lot while I've been at SAMBICA. A lot changed in the way I view my relationship with God and how I want it to be a long lasting 'not just a camp or summer' thing. Getting baptized, here, at SAMBICA, with these people who helped me realize so much of what I've learned... I just felt like it was exactly what God wanted for me to do. And you know what, I can say enough times, "God had it happen for a reason", and "what I planned isn't God's plan",  or "it'll play out just the way He wants it to"... You all may think I'm just saying that because that's just what a typical gcg (good christian girl) would say, but no. I'm not a gcg. In fact, I hate stereo types with a passion. I'm saying these things because, I truly believe that God has a bigger plan for me and that my plan is not His plan. I'm only human. I am not getting baptized for a reason. I don't know yet what that reason is, but that's what God planned so I'm ok with it.

I was very upset by it, but I basically planned this whole post out, word for word when we were at dinner at the camp today. It gave me some peace of mind to realize some of this and helped me have a better night.

Love Always,
Maddie Rose