He Gives and Takes Away

Dear World,

Today was my first time back to church since I left 7 weeks ago for SAMBICA. I have not wanted to be home. I've wanted so much to be back at camp with l4d, and pluto, and dodge, and tiger... Camp was a world away. It was a safe place, and there, nothing could hurt me. God was real, God was there, God loved me and held me on a pedestal as his wonderful creation. Here at home, nothing is the same. I miss camp so much, I feel like it has been taken away from me. Like it was one of those perfect, wonderful things and the only thing you hate is that you can no longer be there. And there is literally, no going back. It's 2 states away.

I miss the mentors insanely. I hate writing this because it makes me miss the one I'll be talking about soo much more. When I was at camp, I had a conversation with Pluto about things that were going on at home. I don't remember exactly what I said to her, but somewhere along the way she brought up the song Blessed be Your Name and the part where it goes He gives and takes away. She brought it up because sometimes it's hard to sing that He gives, and He takes away, because singing it, means you believe it, and to believe it means you have faith that God will fill the hole left by what was taken away.

Today, at church, the very first song we sang in worship was that one. As soon as I heard the chords for it, even before the words, I thought of her, and what she said. "He gives and takes away". Then i thought, how does that apply to my life right now? Well, it's obvious. He's taken away SAMBICA. He's taken away the security that it provides. Right when worship was over, during church, even before the pastor started speaking, I texted Pluto, in kind of a silly way saying, 'guess what the very first song was we sang in church today?' A moment later, her reply was 'BLESSED BE YOUR NAME??? aaah! God is so good!!'

...

I wasn't sure how to reply. I just sent a smiley, but 'God is so good?' I wasn't sure if I believed that. I've only been able to fill in the "He takes away" part. Not the "He gives" part.
He takes away--
the unity of my family
the safety of my camp
the immediate support of my friends
the feeling of being able to talk to a mentor whenever I need it

These 4 things are huge. How do I fill the gaping whole they've left in my life?

I DON'T KNOW!!